palm vx

All posts tagged palm vx

Celery Stalks
Image by TheDeliciousLife via Flickr

(read Part 1 here, part 2 here, part 3 here)

You probably noticed that I said “Heidi, right?”, as though I hadn’t just read her name in my Palm Pilot 10 seconds ago.  There’s a fine line between “stalker” and whatever you call a guy who’s trying to woo a girl (“wooer”?  “pursuer”?  Anyway…) and I wasn’t sure if having an appointment written in my Palm Pilot with a near-stranger’s name in it crossed that line.  So, I acted like I had just accessed the vast archive of my memory banks and solicited, in an instant, the name of a girl I had run across four months ago.  Are there ethical issues with that?  Maybe, but shut up.

Two episodes ago, I mentioned that Heidi’s psyche had helped me out a bit.  This was the manifestation of that help.  You see, the only thing Heidi’s psyche ever allows her to change is underwear.  She is a rather static person.  Which is why she was living in the same group of dorms and studying in the same library.  What a great blessing!  To my own psyche, I say, “seriously, you couldn’t help a brother out once in a while?”  Anyway.

Heidi’s reaction was one of surprise.  I could see that she didn’t remember my name so I stood there, waiting patiently, knowing I had the upper hand.  She said “yeah, what was your name again?”  Upper hand or no, you can’t hear that question without getting bucked down a few notches.  “m”, I stammered, not sure where to go from here.

Then, I happened to notice she had a copy of “The Iliad”.  I was taking a Humanities class from a crazy man who expected me to read that book in 2 weeks, besides the fact that I was taking other classes.  And he hadn’t given me any notes about the book.  Well, Heidi was studying the same book for a Philosophy class and SHE HAD NOTES!

And I had an idea.

I went to put my things down and came back, after a couple of minutes.  No, I didn’t sit there with her.  I didn’t want to seem like I was coming on strong.  What am I, a psycho who writes her name down four months ago so I can find her again?  Of course not, HA HA HA!!  What a silly idea!

When I came back, I told her of my dilemma and asked if I could borrow her notes to copy them.  Well, she was more than happy to share her notes with me.  She picked them up and handed them over and I took the coveted prize to the copy room, straining both nostrils the entire way to see if I could catch the hint of a scent.  Okay, that’s not true and it’s a little creepy.

Now, up until this point, I have painted Heidi as a pristine goddess, capable of no wrong.  Unfortunately, this next part of the story has proven, in later years, that my wife is willing to mercilessly assault the truth for her own wicked designs.  But I digress.

I put the pages on the copy machine and ran them through.  As was my habit, I checked them after they were done to make sure they were copied correctly.  As I leafed through the pages, some writing caught my eye.  Upon closer examination, I realized she had written on one of the pages and this writing had copied through.  What was this writing, you ask?

My name.

(to be continued)

Palm Vx Handheld
Image via Wikipedia

(read Part 1 here, part 2 here)

Technology is wonderful, no?  We carry more computing power in the palm of our hand than the entire shuttle that landed on the moon (that’s right, Neil Armstrong.  You would have been safer riding to the moon on an iPhone (there’s an app for that!))  And the best use of that power is, of course, keeping track of the ladies!

I had recently sold some textbooks and bought a Palm Vx with it.  Oh yeah, loving the monochrome!  Anyway, it occurred to me that I could write myself a reminder for, say, the next August and look for Heidi in the law library.  So, I wrote it down.

The rest of the semester, I sat with her now and then and we’d talk and get to know each other.  But I never asked her out because I didn’t think I’d see her again.  It just didn’t make sense to spend money on somebody else’s wife.

Well, summer came and I had a blast.  I had great roommates who invited me to their parties and I met lots of fun people.  I even dated a girl from Mexico that I met at a dance.  See, I have a different psyche when I speak Spanish and my Spanish psyche is way cooler than my English psyche.  If I ever run for political office, I’m going to do it in Spanish, with a translator.

Anyway, at the end of the summer I decided to move out my condo and into an apartment closer to campus.  I picked Liberty Square because it was close to campus and had a reputation as a fun place to live.  What I didn’t know until I moved in was that it was also a filthy stink-hole.  Well, just my apartment.  It was awful.

But, I had cool roommates and a great ward.  I was ready to enjoy myself and meet lots of new people.  You’ll notice I’m not mentioning Heidi much and there’s a reason for that:

I had forgotten about her.

She was all the way in Nevada and I was in Provo and somehow the memory had faded.  But, little did I know, salvation was to come from my pocket.  Because that’s where I kept my Palm Pilot.

One day in late August, the first Wednesday after school had started, I found myself walking into the law library.  As I did so, I was looking at my calendar to see what classes I needed to study for.  And what did I see?  A little note that said:

“Look for Heidi in the law library”

THAT’S RIGHT!!  I had completely forgotten about hot law library chick (yes, that was my nickname for her (while she wasn’t around))!  And I had her name, so I didn’t have to call her “hot law library chick”!  Well, this was one assignment I was going to ace.

I walked straight to our old table and found…nothing.  I looked at the next table and…nothing.  I looked at the next 5 tables and nothing.  But the 6th table had…nothing.  Finally, at the last table in the row, was seated…her.  The object of my affection for the last two months (not counting a break in the summer).

I walked right up to her with a smile and said, “Heidi, right?”

(to be continued)