The Hunchback of BYU (A Valentine’s Day Romance), Part 1

I met Heidi in March of 2000 (I think).  I had recently been engaged to a wonderful woman but it hadn’t been right.  After a lot of prayer, I decided to end it.  Which is why I was single when I walked into the BYU law library that fateful day in March.

Now, you’re saying to yourself, “m, you’re not an attorney.  “  To which I reply, no.  No, I’m not.  But an old roommate of mine, Brian, had clued me in to the fact that the law library is very quiet (they enforce the ‘no-talking’ thing) and there’s plenty of space.  So, I had been studying there for a few years.

I will freely admit I did not always concentrate when I was supposed to be studying.  I was very observant of the fauna, shall we say.  So, it was not out of character for me, as I sauntered in that day, to be looking around in all directions.

This time, however, as I was looking for an empty table near the back of the library, my eyes fell upon a radiant beauty just sitting there alone at first table at the end of a row.  I nearly fainted.  This being BYU, gorgeous women never sat alone, anywhere (unless she was married).  As was my habit, I checked the ring finger and found it completely naked.  Oh yeah.

Me being who I am, I completely dismissed her as out of my league.  I just walked on by (staring at her the whole time, of course) knowing I had not the slightest chance.  But, as I passed the huge pillar on my right that separated her from me, several thoughts struck me at once.  First, I was now single.  I hadn’t dated anybody since my engagement and was wondering if I ever would.

Second, I was a first-year senior (I had two senior years, thanks to wasting my freshman year), near the end of the year.  I only had one more year before I would leave what is the largest concentration of single Mormon women in the world.  And if I couldn’t find the right woman there, what hope had I?

Finally, and this is the thought that actually changed my mind, I thought to myself, “you only live once”.  Meaning, even if I was completely humiliated, at least I had tried.

(Look at the huge peek you’re getting into my psyche.  Nowhere in there is the thought, “she’d be lucky to have me!” or “I’ll bet she’d really like me!”  Of course, none of that was true, but still.  I didn’t even think thoughts in that direction.  WTH(ECK), PSYCHE!!)

Only a few steps past the pillar, I turned around, backpack in tow.  I walked up to the table, pulled out the chair at the other end of the table, on the opposite side of the table (so bold!), and asked “is anybody sitting here?”

I was dumbfounded by what she said…

(to be continued)