I’ve recently been venturing out of the world of NPR. Sometimes I just can’t take the Obama worship. Anyway, I take brief forays into other radio stations.
My report? I understand how we could have elected Obama.
(Also, I understand I’m now the curmudgeon on his porch yelling at the kids to stay off his frickin’ property. I’m okay with that.)
Here’s a sampling of what your kids are listening to. The kids whose homework you help out with every night. The kids you’re hoping will get into a good college. THE FUTURE OF OUR NATION!! These are the lyrics they’re hearing. I’ll probably do multiple songs, so this is the first in a series.
Party In the USA – Miley Cyrus
- Image via Wikipedia
Context: This song is apparently about when Ms. Cyrus moved from Nashville to Hollywood, before she was famous. In the song, she talks about being nervous and looked down on by all the famous Hollywood types, so the move must have been a while ago. She’s 17 now, so let’s say this is when she was 12 or 13.
“I hopped off the plane at LAX, with a dream and my cardigan, welcome to the land of fame excess, (woah), am I gonna fit in?
Jumped in the cab, Here I am for the first time, Look to the right and I see the Hollywood sign, This is all so crazy, Everybody seems so famous
My tummys turnin and I’m feelin kinda home sick, Too much pressure and I’m nervous,”
Okay, so she’s saying she moved from Nashville to Hollywood with nothing but a cardigan sweater (and presumably the clothes she was wearing) and took a cab. When she was 12. All alone. With no money for the cab.
Well, that would be very scary. I can’t imagine many things scarier. It’s going to take a lot to fix this problem.
“That’s when the taxi man turned on the radio, and a Jay Z song was on, and the Jay Z song was on, and the Jay Z song was on
So I put my hands up, They’re playing my song, And the butterflys fly away, Noddin’ my head like yeah, Moving my hips like yeah, And I got my hands up, They’re playin my song, I know I’m gonna be ok, Yeah, It’s a party in the USA, Yeah, It’s a party in the USA”
Image by lumierefl via Flickr
Wait, what? You’re 12 years old, no luggage, just flew to LA and you’re in a cab with nothing to pay with. And you’re by yourself. All it takes for you to feel better is a Jay-Z song on the radio? Never mind that you’re 12 and LISTENING TO JAY-Z!! Are you sure you didn’t move from the Valley?
And what about this line?:
“Noddin’ my head like yeah, Moving my hips like yeah”
Just repeat that to yourself a few times. Society will have to pay for the education system that taught our kids to speak like that!
So now, our prepubescent star is headbanging and grinding herself in the backseat of a cab in a strange town and feeling better. Did she take a small pill before this cab ride?
“Get to the club in my taxi cab, Everybody’s lookin at me now, Like ‘whos that chick, thats rockin’ kicks?, She gotta be from out of town’
So hard with my girls not around me, Its definitely not a Nashville party, Cause’ all I see are stilletos, I guess I never got the memo”
Huh? Our 12-year-old is going to a club?! Where everybody wears stilettos? No money for a cab, a cardigan sweater and she’s at a club. Right. Is this a club that caters to pretentious 12-year-olds? How is she going to pay the cover? Is she hoping to meet a guy? What the heck, song?!!
“Feel like hoppin’ on a flight (on a flight), Back to my hometown tonight (town tonight), Something stops me everytime (everytime), The DJ plays my song and I feel alright!”
Wow. You know all those problems you have? Anxiety. Bills. Health. The solution? Hearing your favorite song. That’s right. All you have to do is hear your favorite song and everything just comes off like gangbusters!! Everybody should just buy lots of songs so everything is okay. Who says so? Miley Cyrus, somebody who sells songs for a living, that’s who!!
The rest of the song is just as ridiculous. I can’t handle anymore. You’re on your own.
Upcoming songs? Boom Boom Pow by the Black Eyed Peas, Pictures of You by The Last Goodnight and Fireflies by Owl City. Get ready for “teh awesome”.
The thing that gets me most about this song (and I’ve had ample opportunity to consider it as it is my 13-year-old sister’s fave song AND her ringtone) is that there was never a time in wee Miley’s life that she has ever not been famous. Like she has ever come into LAX not on a private plane. Her parents started pimping her out at like, 3.
PS> Jase happens to lovelovelove Fireflies so just be ready for a rebuttal from him;)
PPS> You listen to NPR?!? I think my world just imploded.
That's what happens when you have a couple of kids! You become a parent and all of your youthful worries fade away. Now you begin to worry what your kids will be like as teenagers! Welcome to parenthood!
That’s a really good point.
Seriously, Jason likes that song? You think he would do a guest post as a rebuttal? I’d really be interested in understanding even one verse of that song.
Yeah, literally since 9/11/2001 I’ve listened almost exclusively to NPR news. I recognize their bias and adjust for it with other sources but I think they tend to dig a little deeper than most organizations.