Heidi and I got our second ultrasound today. Thankfully, the baby cooperated and we were able to find out what the gender is. The facility we go to also does some rehab work so there’s a gym in there. There’s usually 2 or 3 senior citizens in there working out.
One of the things I noticed about this is how slow they go and how quiet it is in the gym. Which is where I got the idea for the funniest skit ever. I hope that one day I can have the courage to carry this out.
I want to dress up in workout clothes, weight gloves, a big, brown weight belt (I know, they’re useless) and even have a chalk bag. I envision myself walking straight in, past the desk, and over to the squat machine. I put on the belt, gloves and chalk up. I load up a huge amount of weight and get in position. And that’s when the fun begins. Every rep sounds like I’m giving birth, right there. I’m grunting and yelling and psyching myself up at the top of my lungs. Imagine the loudest, most intense, noisiest and most annoying lifter you’ve ever seen and multiply him by 10. That’ll be me.
The climax comes when I’m bench pressing and I ask a 70-year-old woman with a bad hip to spot me. And when she does, I’m constantly blowing sweat up at her and yelling.
Maybe I’m warped, but I honestly think that would be hilarious. I really hope I get a chance to do that.
Oh, it’s a boy.