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Mugged Again

The other night, I was getting some money from the ATM. It was a fairly large amount of money because I was buying a piece of furniture off of Craigslist from a person who wouldn’t take a check. As I walked back to my car, just as I was opening the door, I felt a sharp pain in my back and heard a voice say “gimme your cash!”

Frankly, I couldn’t believe it. I wasn’t sure what to do. I decided to play it safe and put my hand with the money out to my right. As the thief went to grab it, I caught a look at his face in the glass of my window. I memorized his face so I could identify him later.

After he took the money and ran off, I just sat there, not comprehending what happened. I went home and told h about it. She couldn’t believe it either.

Then, just a few months later, I was in a grocery store, buying a few things for our BBQ that night. As I was walking out to my car, in full view of the parking lot, who do I see but the guy that mugged me! I was preparing to chase him down when I noticed he was coming right toward me! He walked right up to me, took out some bills and said, “Here’s your refund. You don’t have to thank me.”

Uhhh….

Frankly, I was speechless. I looked and it was about 25% of what he had stolen in the first place. I was a little relieved just to have the money back, at first. But, the more I thought about it, the more I thought “Who on Earth would take my money by force, then decide to give some back and call it a ‘refund’?” Then I remembered.

The government.

(don’t worry, I wasn’t mugged. I made that up to make my point.)

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You’re currently reading “Mugged Again,” an entry on The Entreblog!

Published:: May 07 2008 / 6:05 am

Author:: m

Category:: politics, satire

Ratings:

Heidi May 07 2008 / 6am

Ah, nice analogy! (At first I was like, “What on earth is he talking about?…”) I’m glad you weren’t really mugged and I’m glad to even get a “refund” this year (though that is funny now that you mention it).

Ailene Hert May 07 2008 / 12pm

I have no complaints about receiving money! Receiving some money is better than receiving none at all… imagine if this “mugger” saw you, and then just showed off all the stuff that he bought with your money, and didn’t give you any “refund” whatsoever… I much prefer the refund… even if it might not be a “full refund” for some people.

James May 07 2008 / 9pm

Very nice analogy indeed!

Another way to look at this is that the money you get back from this mugger is money that was removed from your budget. So instead of buying a couch, you may save it or maybe invest it.

James

m May 07 2008 / 9pm

@Heidi: I’m glad I wasn’t mugged, too (at least in the parking lot). I get mugged every two weeks by the Treasury dept., the Social Security Administration and the Medicare folks.

@Ailene: You’re right, I would rather get a refund than not. However, the best thing would be if I weren’t mugged in the first place.

@James: Good point.

wandering Nana-Linda May 24 2008 / 6am

Every time I read your post I just want to smack you. You always hook me, reel me in and wham!!! You are so related to Travis….. And by the way, somebody has to pay the government so they can support all those people who don’t work and live off the money of all of us who do.

James May 24 2008 / 10am

“…somebody has to pay the government so they can support all those people who don’t work and live off the money of all of us who do.”

You make it sound like that’s a bad thing? One day, all of us will not be working and will need someone to take care of us, and the people whose taxes go to support us will probably say the same thing.

wandering Nana-Linda May 24 2008 / 4pm

James,
There are people who can’t work and there are people who can work but choose not too. Those are the people I’m talking about. The ones who get their way paid to college, etc. while others work to pay their way to college etc. Those are the people I’m tired of supporting.

James May 25 2008 / 12pm

Thanks for clarifying. I think it’s important to differentiate between people who need the help and people who clearly take advantage of the system and give nothing back to society.

However, I would much prefer knowing that someone is taking advantage of free help to go to college than free money to sit around and do nothing. The people who earn college degrees from grants and federal money will earn more money in the long run and in the end contribute money back into the system.

Again, I think it’s important to differentiate; it’s easy to only look at the downside of these programs and to ignore all of the people who are doing great things because they had an opportunity to improve themselves.

Daniel Martin Jun 01 2008 / 10am

i have no problem with taxation. i dont even have a problem with the government forcing people to pay taxes at the threat of going to jail or of seizing property. the thing i have a problem with is the means by which government takes my money and what the government does with it.
i dont want to sound heartless but i dont remember the constitution saying anything about it being okay to take your money and give it to someone who really needs help but not okay to give it to someone who is able to take care of themself.
is what i do remember the constitution saying is that if its not for the general welfare(meaning everyone) you cant do it. in other words, you cant take money from one group or individual and give it to another, no matter how much they need it. its wrong for the governement to take my money and give it to someone else regardless of their need. that is what private charity is for.
grover cleveland said it best, “Though the people support the government, the government should not support the people”
as for the means by which they do their legal plunder, i long for the old days of the tax collector. could you imagine us paying what we do to the government if it was someone coming to our door and us writing a check to them, americans would not be so willing to let the government take so much.
i like the fair tax(national sales tax) idea, that way we see how much we are paying in taxes every time we buy something, this idea of stealing it from me before i get it makes businesses the governments agents as tax collectors.
gas taxes are even worse. they dont even post how much of what we are paying goes to taxes. everyone is complaining about the oil companies record profits; what about the governments? the oil companies are lucky to make between 5-10%. at $4.00 a gallon that is between $.20 - $.40 per gallon, anyone know how much the government makes per gallon, i know in Washington we are paying over $.50 per gallon in taxes.
i think id rather get mugged, at least i could fight back or shoot the idiot so i could get my money back, and if i didnt, he’d probably spend it more wisely than uncle sam does.
sorry so long, this is one of my triggers, lol.

James Jun 01 2008 / 1pm

Wow, that was a long comment. Usually I’m the long-winded commenter.

Everyone is entitled to their opinions though, and regardless of what the constitution says, I think it’s cool that there are programs that help people who are in need so that they can contribute back to society one day.

Good point about gas prices though and watching what the government does with our money. That I believe is something that people, including myself, need to pay more attention to.

Daniel Martin Jun 01 2008 / 8pm

“regardless of what the constitution says….”

that was a joke right? it is only a piece of paper, well animal skin. however, it is the framework of our government.
im all for programs to help people in need, just private programs that arent run with money taken at the threat of imprisonment if you dont choose to use that charity. government is a terribly inefficient charity too, why would you want them to run programs, your money could be used so much more effectively without all the bureaucracy of government.
that is my take at least.

James Jun 04 2008 / 7pm

Right, it is the framework of our government, but that doesn’t mean we should ban a program just because the constitution doesn’t guarantee it or enforce it.

Good point about the government being inefficient. Perhaps instead of government programs the government can give more of a break to people who help fund these charities. The question is, by using private charities that don’t have requirements that people contribute, will that reduce the amount of available help or increase it?

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Mugged Again

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