In part 4, we learned the attic fan we had the electrician install when we bought the house was the cause of all our woes. It turned out the change in seasons was causing condensation to build up in there, which was shorting out not only the attic fan, but the entire circuit it was plugged into.
Now, to tell this story right, I will decline to tell you how we fixed the attic fan problem until later. For now, what you need to know is that h and I figured that while we had the electrician here, we might as well have him do some other things for us, like install a new outlet and a new light switch in the hall. This seemed like an excellent idea at the time.
Knowing this, I had gone to Lowes to get the necessary supplies (switches, covers, boxes, wire, etc). Naturally, I picked the right things for all parts except for the cheapest and most disposable parts (yet somehow still necessary). So I went back to Lowes. I have never gone to Lowes just once for a project of any size. I’m convinced they actually take stuff out of my cart when I’m there so I’ll have to go back. I hate them.
Anyway, having gotten all the right material, we were ready. It was decided that, what with our electrician being well over 6’6″, I should get in the attic. Our attic is tiny, what with our roof being so flat as to almost be concave. In fact, we may be able to use it for water storage.
Once we decided on that, I got out the stepladder, got on some shoes and grabbed the drill and some wire and headed up there. After five minutes and some Cirque du Soleil-ish moves (oh yeah, I wrote that right the first time without looking it up!), I managed to get my entire body (6’0, 211.5 lbs (this morning)(all muscle)(not true)) in the attic. I turned to the right and was struck with obstacle number 1 (the attic door itself being obstacle 0; programming convention).
It was a joint in the attic that formed a box. So that you get a concept of how out of proportion this box was with the reality of my gargantuan-osity, I have drawn an excellent drawing, to precise scale:
So, as you can see, I had a problem. However, I could not see this. All I knew was, I was in the attic fixing stuff and it was hot and I was in a hurry. I had to get through. Determinedly, I stuck my head through and brought my shoulders along. My torso followed through with only some minor scraping. Then came the first (left) hip. It joyously came through and celebrated its good fortune with a nice Cognac*. I have a pretentious left hip.
Unfortunately, in it’s celebratory reverie, it had forgotten its Siamese twin (right hip), which had no such cause to celebrate. ‘Cause it was stuck.
* No hips were given alcohol at any point during the events recounted here