The American Family Association: Purveyors of Fine Smut Since 1854

When I was growing up, I heard a stand-up comedian tell the following joke (I’m paraphrasing):

“I was eating with my girlfriend the other night, when the waiter brings her some coffee. She takes a sip and nearly chokes. She looks at me and says ‘oh, this tastes awful, try some’. What? There’s no way I’m going near that stuff. She just told me it was awful“

I am reminded of that joke (which has come true in my life many times!) each time I get an email from the American Family Association.

The AFA has a noble mission. They want to defend family values wherever they are under attack. Fine. I feel the same way. My issue is with their method, those “ActionAlert” emails. And their website, too.

For example, if they think something on TV is extremely offensive, they want you to sign a petition to have it banned, burned, eaten and regurgitated and it’s author made to apologize while wearing nothing but an American flag. Or was that part of my nightmare last night?

Anyway, in order to get you in a good, petition-signing mood, they want you to be extra offended. How do they do that?

BY GIVING YOU A LINK TO THE OFFENSIVE MATERIAL!!

What’s that? You don’t want to watch something offensive? That’s okay, because THEY ALSO DESCRIBE, IN SOME DETAIL, ALL THE BAD THINGS YOU WOULD SEE IN THE VIDEO!!

I can’t understand why they don’t realize that they are simply a delivery mechanism for the very, and I use this word advisedly, crap they’re trying to have banned. They even host some of the videos and pictures on their own servers. Seriously, what the heck? “We must stop people from being exposed to morally questionable material. Better send a link to it”…

This all hearkens back to the punchline of that joke I mentioned.

“Here, this is extremely offensive to you. Watch it.”

No, thanks, AFA. I already know there’s crap out there. I’ll vote with my wallet and not subscribe to cable or watch TV. No, I won’t sign your petition because online petitions are useless by definition.

You should try this coffee, though. It’s terrible.