This has never happened before. At least not the way it did today.
It shattered the trust that has defined our entire relationship from the first day.
I suppose I knew it had to happen, but I wasn’t prepared for it when it did.
At first I wasn’t sure we could repair the damage that was done. But, after time, it seemed we would be able to reconcile.
Until it happened again.
Both times, it all happened so fast, I just lost control.
Both times I watched my son slip from my hands and fall…
…about three inches and hit his left temple on the floor. He cried and fussed and since it happened about 10 minutes before his nap, there was no way he was calming down. After Heidi and I both held him for a while we just put him down and he was fine.
But it was a little traumatic for me, since when he has been hurt to the point of crying before, it was always his fault. This time, it was mine, although he did do the lurching. But it was me who didn’t quite catch him in time. Poor little guy. The worst part was the look of fear in his eyes, where there used to be innocence and hope. I hope I didn’t steal some little part of his childhood. It’ll happen some time, just not by me, I hope.
We’re all better now, though, and life is good. He’s napping.